Speak Up

Group Discussion

Thompson’s Main Idea:

When faced with a redemptive conversation, refuse the fight or flight tactics and speak up!  Be a peacemaker and fight for redemptive outcomes and relationships.

Essential Resource!

Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler

Ice Breakers

What are your top 2 TV shows on right now?  What do you like about them?


Sitcoms and many dramas are based entirely on a failure to communicate well.

  • Where have you seen a classic example of this?
  • Tell a story of how you have seen communication ramp up and go horribly wrong in real life.

Making it personal

To fight or flee is an instinctual response that we all have when emotions run high, opinions vary, and the stakes are raised.

  • Share with the group how you tend to respond when things get heated.
  • Have you had a conflict recently that you could share?  How did it go?
  • What went well in that situation?
  • What would you have done differently?


Read together James 3:13-4:3

  • What’s something new that you noticed about this passage?
  • What problems or questions do you have about this passage?
  • According to this passage, what are our core motives when conversations go sideways into quarrels and arguments?
  • What are the qualities we need to have to go beyond our fight or flight instincts?
  • Who do you know who exemplifies those characteristics in intense settings?
  • What do they do that’s different and achieves different results?
  • How does one acquire those skills?


  • Who is someone that you need to have a redemptive conversation with instead of avoiding?
  • How can you have that conversation in a way that invites dialogue and seeks a win/win outcome?
  • Who is someone you need to go back to and apologize for shutting down redemptive dialogue? (By powering up, being defensive and argumentative, telling all truth with zero grace or tact, etc.)
  • How can you invite that person back into dialogue that seeks a win/win outcome?